A Good Place to Start
When I feel uneasy about anything in my life, paying close attention to two of our most valuable resources, TIME and ENERGY, helps me identify areas where I can make significant strides. Understanding how you spend your time and energy (mentally and emotionally) gives you a starting point in improving any experience.
If you're feeling stressed, sad, tired, or wondering about purpose and meaning, a helpful place to start is to ask yourself:
-What am I spending my time on?
-Where am I putting my mental energy- what am I paying attention to?
-Where am I putting my emotional charge, or what's draining my emotional energy?
It's not about being rigid or obsessive about scheduling every hour. It's about intentionally allocating enough time for activities you want to spend your energy on. For example, suppose I'm feeling overwhelmed or too busy and am falling behind on specific projects. I can look at how I've spent my time recently and realize I didn't have to watch a Game of Thrones marathon for 3 days or play Candy Crush for hours (I had to delete it years ago; it took too much time). I can allocate some of that time and mental energy to catching up on more pressing tasks. Now suppose an honest look at my time shows that I spend too many hours on busy work. In that case, I can reallocate some time for rest and not feel guilty relaxing my mind by watching a few episodes of my TV shows or playing some games on my phone. In both scenarios, I'm aware about how I'm choosing to spend my time and energy rather than just doing things automatically, mindlessly.
Have you looked honestly at what each hour of your day is spent on? A time inventory can give you concrete data on how you actually spend your time (versus how you think you spent your time). I completed a time inventory for one week several years ago; it was eye-opening. It showed me that even though my health and family are my top priorities in my head, a lot of my time was spent on meetings and roles that were mentally exhausting and emotionally draining, which kept me from my personal priorities. I was over-committed, and the external demands just kept coming. By the time I was home, I was irritable, physically tired, and just not the version of mom and wife I wanted to be. I knew something had to change.
The time inventory gave me concrete data that gave me courage and urgency to simplify my commitments, create better boundaries, and practice saying no to protect my time. This helped me focus on my top priorities, including ensuring a transition from my work day to my personal and family time. Looking back, an honest look at my time and the mental/emotional energy spent in that time guided many bold decisions in my life: school (in choosing extracurricular activities and deciding to pursue Psychiatry), relationships (nurturing or cutting off connections), and career moves (feeling good about saying "no" and ensuring my responsibilities are aligned with my values and long term goals).
Take the time to reflect and pay attention to how you're really doing/feeling right now.
How are you spending your time these days?
What's taking much of your attention?
Where are you putting your emotional energy?
Do these need to stay the same, or do you need to make a change?